Amber the dumb ass

Well, i spent Valentines at a girlfriends drinking wine and feeling a bit miserable at the thought of being alone yet another V day.
We both sat there and said cheers to us.
(both being late 20s and single)
Later i ended up road tripping it up to Maroopna... *grin*

Anyways, i was driving my car home today and alls of a sudden i hear this loud POP sound... i shit myself because i thought i had blown a tyre... Then i felt a warm fluid running down my forehead... i thought i had been shot and i was bleeding, my life flashing before my eyes...

But as the fluid ran down my face and into my mouth i realised it tasted like wine! Yep! you guessed it. Half of last nights wine was rolling around on the car floor and the build up of gas made the cork pop off and send wine all over my nice new car, showering me in thre process!!!

It stinks like a brewery and the windows are all sticky...
But wait.... there's more..... fuck the steak knives, what happened next was worse! My auto decided it would give up the ghost.
So i had to rev the shit outta the poor little car to get home.

But wait... there's still more.... call within the next five minutes and i will tell you how stooopid dumb ass me decided the reason why my car wasn't running smoothly was because there wasn't enough oil in it.... and proceeded to fill it up... ALL FOUR LITRES!!!

And i wondered why my car was blowing out smoke like a chimney.
I had one lady run up to me screaming that my car was on fire!
lol

To cut a long story short, i have decided to place an add in the paper for a part time husband, duties include fixing car and shagging me silly....
Any takers?