IM SITTING HERE THREE HOURS LATE TO A FRIENDS BIRTHDAY PARTY BECAUSE MY GAY MATE DECIDED SEX WAS MORE IMPORTANT THAT OUR FRIENDS BIRTHDAY PARTY. AND SEEING AS I DECIDED TO LET MY HAIR DOWN AND DRINK FOR ONCE, HE PROMISED HE WOULD DRIVE ME....
YES IM FUCKING FUCKED OFF!!!!
Saturday, 21 July 2007
Thursday, 12 July 2007
Emotional Amby
Ok, shall i update you on the wonderful world of me?
*Warning* the following involves lots of boring whiney self absorbed crap about weight loss and dieting. (Something which i NEVER blog about)
Like i said, i been feeling shit lately. Tired, emotional, sad, withdrawn. I was really starting to look like i felt too! So i kicked myself in the butt and trundled along to my SureSlim centre and spoke to the lady who is taking care of my program.
(Now Amby is the type of girl that hates to disappoint people, if i cant do something right, or i fail at something, i totally avoid the person or situation and hide out from them, refusing calls and such. I guess i think that if i ignore them long enough they will give up on me and walk away, there fore i don't have to face them with my shame and guilt of failure.)
Well i been doing this with my SureSlim consultant for a while now, and it wasn't doing me any good. So as i walked into the little office i broke down into tears and sat there blubbering. (Amby doesn't cry infront of people!!!) Which is weird, because i like people to think i am strong and dedicated, that I'm going to put my head down and just not feel anything and barrage through the task ahead.
What i forgot to think about was the emotional side of things. I thought "ok loosing this weight is easy, just follow the program and that's it" WRONG!!! What i forgot to take into account is the emotional part of it all. Like the fact that i deliberately (unconsciously) sabotage every attempt at weight loss once i realise its starting to work.
I realised that the reason i do this is because I'm afraid. I'm scared of the unknown. I have been fat for so long, that I'm scared of what life will be like when I'm thinner. sound crazy? well not to me it doesn't. My little layers of fat are what protects me from the world. If I'm upset, i grab a piece of chocolate. If I'm rejected, it's cause I'm fat. If i fail at anything, its because I'm fat. Its a nice excuse for being lazy really.
But also its what i have become used to. and accepted that its who i would be for the rest of my life. "the happy fat friend that everybody likes, but no body loves"
Well anyway, enough waffling, so here i am back on my way to my weightloss journey... And i know once i pass that certain weight that has been my runaway point for years, i will well and truly be on the way to success.
But its not all just about numbers for me... its also about how i FEEL. I been back on my program since Tuesday, and already i have more energy, feel more alert and creative. (i have also lost 1.7kg already!!!)
I'm on my way... I'm on my way to happiness... ah huh ah huh ah huh.
*Warning* the following involves lots of boring whiney self absorbed crap about weight loss and dieting. (Something which i NEVER blog about)
Like i said, i been feeling shit lately. Tired, emotional, sad, withdrawn. I was really starting to look like i felt too! So i kicked myself in the butt and trundled along to my SureSlim centre and spoke to the lady who is taking care of my program.
(Now Amby is the type of girl that hates to disappoint people, if i cant do something right, or i fail at something, i totally avoid the person or situation and hide out from them, refusing calls and such. I guess i think that if i ignore them long enough they will give up on me and walk away, there fore i don't have to face them with my shame and guilt of failure.)
Well i been doing this with my SureSlim consultant for a while now, and it wasn't doing me any good. So as i walked into the little office i broke down into tears and sat there blubbering. (Amby doesn't cry infront of people!!!) Which is weird, because i like people to think i am strong and dedicated, that I'm going to put my head down and just not feel anything and barrage through the task ahead.
What i forgot to think about was the emotional side of things. I thought "ok loosing this weight is easy, just follow the program and that's it" WRONG!!! What i forgot to take into account is the emotional part of it all. Like the fact that i deliberately (unconsciously) sabotage every attempt at weight loss once i realise its starting to work.
I realised that the reason i do this is because I'm afraid. I'm scared of the unknown. I have been fat for so long, that I'm scared of what life will be like when I'm thinner. sound crazy? well not to me it doesn't. My little layers of fat are what protects me from the world. If I'm upset, i grab a piece of chocolate. If I'm rejected, it's cause I'm fat. If i fail at anything, its because I'm fat. Its a nice excuse for being lazy really.
But also its what i have become used to. and accepted that its who i would be for the rest of my life. "the happy fat friend that everybody likes, but no body loves"
Well anyway, enough waffling, so here i am back on my way to my weightloss journey... And i know once i pass that certain weight that has been my runaway point for years, i will well and truly be on the way to success.
But its not all just about numbers for me... its also about how i FEEL. I been back on my program since Tuesday, and already i have more energy, feel more alert and creative. (i have also lost 1.7kg already!!!)
I'm on my way... I'm on my way to happiness... ah huh ah huh ah huh.
Thursday, 5 July 2007
Wake me up before i doe doze!
Man i been soo tired lately... Too many late nights at work.
I'm seriously thinking about quiting so i can see the light of day again. I'm kinda sick of sleeping the days away cause i been up all night.
(Sigh* the life of a shift worker)
I fell off the sure slim wagon and hit my ass on the ground really hard. I haven't been following it at all over the last 4 months and as a result i put on 2kgs. (I know your rolling your eyes and going 2kg... is that all??!! but i tell you 2kg soon becomes 20kg!!! That's how it all starts!)
Plus i think the reason i been tired and sick so often is because my body is screaming at me and telling me its not happy about the shit i been putting in it lately. So i started my program again today! Not looking forward to the next week or so of detoxifying ie: headache, nausea, tiredness, crankiness etc...
I know how good i will feel once its passed, so I'm gunna grin and bear it! Plus i got a wedding to go to in Jan and i am hoping to really shift some blubber so i can wear a nice dress to it. I quit smoking again tonight and I'm quitting caffeine over the weekend... so Amby not gunna be a happy lil chook over the next few days!
Note to impending visitors... beware of cranky fat chick!
Wednesday, 4 July 2007
what do they say a pictures worth?
He he... my little fairy boy pushing up daisy... look out flies!!! wind tunnel ahead!
My precious babies!!! awww they soo cute. i love watching them snuggle.
Umm well as for this one... lets just put it down to the full moon in the previous pic!!!
Here is that funny pic i been telling you about!
(the one from the chocolate mill!)
And here is a pic i took at 5pm in the evening.
Can you believe the moon was Beaming so bright and full?
My precious babies!!! awww they soo cute. i love watching them snuggle.Umm well as for this one... lets just put it down to the full moon in the previous pic!!!
Friday, 29 June 2007
the update has arrived!!!
OK, i have a spare five minutes and I'm not constantly coughing up a lung, so here goes... take a deep breath!
THE CHOCOLATE MILL:
hmmmmmm, if you are ever in the vicinity, and you happen to be a huuuuuge chocolate lover, i highly recommend you go visit this place!
here is its home page..http://www.chocmill.com.au/
(there is this funny pic i took, but i have to wait till i get usb cord for my new phone to dl it to my PC) The chocolates are divine! Unfortunately Amber being lactose intolerant kinda had to stop three times on the way home from the bloody place!
IF THE SHOE FITS:
OMG!!! attention shoe lovers!! if you happen to be in ballarat i think you should high tail it to the bargain shoe store near Big W!!! they have shoes from $5 to $40. (I bought three pairs for $35, again when usb cable arrives i will post pics)
THE ICY TOWN ESCAPE:
I went to Ballarat for work with a gay mate, and we had the heater on in the hotel room at 32 deggers 24hrs and it was still freeeeezin!!!
Anyway, we went to this pub called the bended elbow, and i shit you not, all the people in there were like oompa loompas! they were all 5ft nothing and looked 16!!! There was like 3 brawls in 10 minutes, and even women were getting hit. So i bailed. But on the way out i was getting bowled over by rude people shoving past me, and i had enough!
I screamed "the next bastard that pushes me over is gunna get it" And he did! I threw the poor bastard into three people and knocked em out like a set of bowling pins! (time for amby to fleeeeeeeeeee)
A DRESS TO KILL FOR:
i went to the BIG CITY CHICK sale. I was camping out on the doorstep the night before and as soon as the doors opened i was like a mad woman possessed! I grabbed everything!!! ended up getting 19 items for $175. However i ended up selling some to my sister and friends. (for what i bought them for.) I bought a dress that my friend bought for $79, i got it for $10. ouchhhhhhhhhh!
THE SECRETS OUT:
OK i think i am starting on the wrong foot with this secret thingy... so I'm going to give it another crack. Updates coming!
WHAT GOES ON INFRONT OF EYES:
here's my daily report on whats hot in the dvd section...
MUST WATCH dvds at the moment are:
BABEL: its soo emotionally gripping and so many twists and turns! (Plus Brad Pitts a great perve!)
APOCALYPTO: Its bold and spooky and very very blood thirsty. (Don't watch it if your squeamish, watch it if you liked Passion of the Christ)
MUSIC AND LYRICS: Funny, romantic, and kinda addictive. (Watch it if you liked Bridget Jones Diary or Notting Hill)
LITTLE CHILDREN: Emotionally raw and very in depth. (i loved this one! An excellent look into humanity and how fragile life can be.
PANS LABYRINTH: Freaky and weird. almost disturbing! (watch it if you like a cross between alice in wonderland meets Schindler's list)
BANDIDAS: A funny feminist movie. (Watch it if you like high noon, only with women instead)
THE FOUNTAIN: Weird and freaky, felt like i was on drugs watching this one. (watch it if you liked the cell)
NORBIT: Disappointing, bit at times a little funny. (watch it if you like the nutty professor)
In my opinion, i would definitely pick LITTLE CHILDREN as my favourite out of the bunch.
THE CHOCOLATE MILL:
hmmmmmm, if you are ever in the vicinity, and you happen to be a huuuuuge chocolate lover, i highly recommend you go visit this place!
here is its home page..http://www.chocmill.com.au/
(there is this funny pic i took, but i have to wait till i get usb cord for my new phone to dl it to my PC) The chocolates are divine! Unfortunately Amber being lactose intolerant kinda had to stop three times on the way home from the bloody place!
IF THE SHOE FITS:
OMG!!! attention shoe lovers!! if you happen to be in ballarat i think you should high tail it to the bargain shoe store near Big W!!! they have shoes from $5 to $40. (I bought three pairs for $35, again when usb cable arrives i will post pics)
THE ICY TOWN ESCAPE:
I went to Ballarat for work with a gay mate, and we had the heater on in the hotel room at 32 deggers 24hrs and it was still freeeeezin!!!
Anyway, we went to this pub called the bended elbow, and i shit you not, all the people in there were like oompa loompas! they were all 5ft nothing and looked 16!!! There was like 3 brawls in 10 minutes, and even women were getting hit. So i bailed. But on the way out i was getting bowled over by rude people shoving past me, and i had enough!
I screamed "the next bastard that pushes me over is gunna get it" And he did! I threw the poor bastard into three people and knocked em out like a set of bowling pins! (time for amby to fleeeeeeeeeee)
A DRESS TO KILL FOR:
i went to the BIG CITY CHICK sale. I was camping out on the doorstep the night before and as soon as the doors opened i was like a mad woman possessed! I grabbed everything!!! ended up getting 19 items for $175. However i ended up selling some to my sister and friends. (for what i bought them for.) I bought a dress that my friend bought for $79, i got it for $10. ouchhhhhhhhhh!
THE SECRETS OUT:
OK i think i am starting on the wrong foot with this secret thingy... so I'm going to give it another crack. Updates coming!
WHAT GOES ON INFRONT OF EYES:
here's my daily report on whats hot in the dvd section...
MUST WATCH dvds at the moment are:
BABEL: its soo emotionally gripping and so many twists and turns! (Plus Brad Pitts a great perve!)
APOCALYPTO: Its bold and spooky and very very blood thirsty. (Don't watch it if your squeamish, watch it if you liked Passion of the Christ)
MUSIC AND LYRICS: Funny, romantic, and kinda addictive. (Watch it if you liked Bridget Jones Diary or Notting Hill)
LITTLE CHILDREN: Emotionally raw and very in depth. (i loved this one! An excellent look into humanity and how fragile life can be.
PANS LABYRINTH: Freaky and weird. almost disturbing! (watch it if you like a cross between alice in wonderland meets Schindler's list)
BANDIDAS: A funny feminist movie. (Watch it if you like high noon, only with women instead)
THE FOUNTAIN: Weird and freaky, felt like i was on drugs watching this one. (watch it if you liked the cell)
NORBIT: Disappointing, bit at times a little funny. (watch it if you like the nutty professor)
In my opinion, i would definitely pick LITTLE CHILDREN as my favourite out of the bunch.
And last but not least... Amberisms. Amberisms are words that Amby muffed up in order to create her own little language... just like a furby!
Cereal? = Serious?
OoodlyWrinkles = Bye bye
None of your Frizzies! = none of your business
(I'm still working on some more)
So there ya have it! in the words of Porky... bleep bleep that's all folks!
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