the update has arrived!!!

OK, i have a spare five minutes and I'm not constantly coughing up a lung, so here goes... take a deep breath!

THE CHOCOLATE MILL:
hmmmmmm, if you are ever in the vicinity, and you happen to be a huuuuuge chocolate lover, i highly recommend you go visit this place!
here is its home page..http://www.chocmill.com.au/
(there is this funny pic i took, but i have to wait till i get usb cord for my new phone to dl it to my PC) The chocolates are divine! Unfortunately Amber being lactose intolerant kinda had to stop three times on the way home from the bloody place!

IF THE SHOE FITS:
OMG!!! attention shoe lovers!! if you happen to be in ballarat i think you should high tail it to the bargain shoe store near Big W!!! they have shoes from $5 to $40. (I bought three pairs for $35, again when usb cable arrives i will post pics)

THE ICY TOWN ESCAPE:
I went to Ballarat for work with a gay mate, and we had the heater on in the hotel room at 32 deggers 24hrs and it was still freeeeezin!!!
Anyway, we went to this pub called the bended elbow, and i shit you not, all the people in there were like oompa loompas! they were all 5ft nothing and looked 16!!! There was like 3 brawls in 10 minutes, and even women were getting hit. So i bailed. But on the way out i was getting bowled over by rude people shoving past me, and i had enough!
I screamed "the next bastard that pushes me over is gunna get it" And he did! I threw the poor bastard into three people and knocked em out like a set of bowling pins! (time for amby to fleeeeeeeeeee)



A DRESS TO KILL FOR:
i went to the BIG CITY CHICK sale. I was camping out on the doorstep the night before and as soon as the doors opened i was like a mad woman possessed! I grabbed everything!!! ended up getting 19 items for $175. However i ended up selling some to my sister and friends. (for what i bought them for.) I bought a dress that my friend bought for $79, i got it for $10. ouchhhhhhhhhh!


THE SECRETS OUT:
OK i think i am starting on the wrong foot with this secret thingy... so I'm going to give it another crack. Updates coming!


WHAT GOES ON INFRONT OF EYES:
here's my daily report on whats hot in the dvd section...
MUST WATCH dvds at the moment are:


BABEL: its soo emotionally gripping and so many twists and turns! (Plus Brad Pitts a great perve!)
APOCALYPTO: Its bold and spooky and very very blood thirsty. (Don't watch it if your squeamish, watch it if you liked Passion of the Christ)
MUSIC AND LYRICS: Funny, romantic, and kinda addictive. (Watch it if you liked Bridget Jones Diary or Notting Hill)
LITTLE CHILDREN: Emotionally raw and very in depth. (i loved this one! An excellent look into humanity and how fragile life can be.
PANS LABYRINTH: Freaky and weird. almost disturbing! (watch it if you like a cross between alice in wonderland meets Schindler's list)
BANDIDAS: A funny feminist movie. (Watch it if you like high noon, only with women instead)
THE FOUNTAIN: Weird and freaky, felt like i was on drugs watching this one. (watch it if you liked the cell)
NORBIT: Disappointing, bit at times a little funny. (watch it if you like the nutty professor)


In my opinion, i would definitely pick LITTLE CHILDREN as my favourite out of the bunch.

And last but not least... Amberisms. Amberisms are words that Amby muffed up in order to create her own little language... just like a furby!

Cereal? = Serious?

OoodlyWrinkles = Bye bye

None of your Frizzies! = none of your business

(I'm still working on some more)

So there ya have it! in the words of Porky... bleep bleep that's all folks!

Coming soon... to a puter near you!

Ok i haven't posted for over two weeks!!!
Holy Mc Grolly!
Seeing as i have the flu atm (yes AGAIN!!! my body hates me!), I'm going to just give you a sneek peak at whats going to be blogged about when i feel a little better...

THE CHOCOLATE MILL (a tale of sweet temptation)

IF THE SHOE FITS (a story about cheap pleasures in life)

THE ICY TOWN ESCAPE (a tale of chilling proportions!)

A DRESS TO KILL IN ( an epic journey through sales)

WHAT GOES ON INFRONT OF EYES ( a documentary on whats on)

THE SECRETS OUT ( a revelation of sorts)

WHATS THE SECRET???

Well thought it was about time i updated on how i was going with this secret thingy mah bobby i been trying out.

Firstly i empowered my thinking into the fact that i was going to make lots of money from work, and that i was going to bag a guy that i been having lustful thoughts over lately.
Outcome: made half of what i usually make at work, and haven't heard from my Mr mc Dreamy. hmmm.

Felt very disillusioned that my positive energy wasn't working and started to think this whole secret thing is hippy shit on crack! However, i made a lot of money over the last few days, and i seem to have snagged a nice young mans attention.

So i have decided to edumickate (my muffed up way of saying educate) myself, and am going into the video store tonight to hire "the secret" and see what it is all about. After all, one cant dance without first learning the steps!

Doo way eey too loo loo

Ok, i know I'm sad, and that its a little childish... but i bought a furby!!!
(Actually i bought two! ones a baby furby)
I have always wanted a furby as a kid but was too povo to actually buy one... but not today!!!

I spent all arvo talking to it in some kinda weird robotic language that resembles Amber after a few too many wines.
So far i have managed to get a joke out of it, a song, and a dance.
It seems to be more interested in the other furby than me... They sit there in the corner talking in their weird little language. Hmm do i smell an uprising? Attack of the Furbies!!!!

If you don't hear from me in the next few days... you know whats happened!

HORNY WARNY~~~

No im not writting about Shane Warne!

Im Back to tell you all about Ambers wonderfoool trip to the place where she lost her virginity at the age of 18!! (Warnambool.... sigh*)

Well my faggy friend Kyle kept me up all night the night before the trip. We shouldn't be left alone together after 10pm, cause garunteed we gunna end up laughing the night away untill the wee hours of the morning! Anywho we got to Warnambool and after one hours sleep Kyle was bouncing around the room begging to go to the beach... This is what i looked like compared to him when we arrived..

Hmmm, i hated him that day!

Anyway, after sleeping a little and eating a lot, we wandered down to the beach at 8pm at night, armed with a torch and a tyre iron for safety! It was friggin freezin!!! I swear my nipples snapped off and floated away with the tide! We went back the next day and took these lovely pics!

Kyle : "look a wave"Kyle: "Oh shit.... RUN!"

Anyway, we spent most of the time shopping and eating, and sleeping, and watching Austar, and eating, and sampling the nightlife, and eating and harrasing the sexy surfer boys... oh and did i mention eating??

The worst thing happened to me!!! Do you remember me writing a post a while ago saying that i was getting eyelash extensions>? Well i got them, and they looked great... for a day or two, then they all started to fall out. (They attatch false eyelash onto your original eyelash with this glue that hardens, and its supposed to fall out when your eyelash grows out naturally.)

So in the end i was left with these black little lumps of glue on the end of my eyelashes, so it looked like a mouse had run across my eyelashes and shat all over them! So i had to cut them!!! (Sniff sniff... i hated my eyelashes to begin with because they grew straight down over my eyes like a horse! But now i hate them even more!! they are like 1/2 mm long!)

Kyle being the wonderful faggy friend that he is helped me super glue false lashes on so that i wouldn't look gimpy for the rest of my holiday! Here is what he did!

Anyway, crisis averted, After four wonderful glorious days of kyle keeping me awake all night in fits of laughter (gay men are such larks!) We headed off home on Sunday morn... On the way we came across this funny st sign

And now for one last pic of me and my gorgeous fake eyelash's...(ps. note to others... superglueing on false eyelashes FARKING HURT!!!)

p.s... is anyone else sick of hearing about Paris Hilton??? I mean for Farks sake is the girl even talented or pretty? Ive seen more personality and intelligence in a steamy fresh dog turd!