I haven't posted over the last few days.
I have been busy *cheeky grin*
I met them...
The person of my dreams.
Killer body, Blonde hair, Green eyes, Tanned, hairless Absolute killer looks....
But enough about the physical stuff.
They're sweet, innocent, Vulnerable, quiet, shy, great company, they make me feel like i am the most important thing in their life.
They're last partner treated them like shit, hit them and told them they were worthless... I kissed their forehead and told them they were gorgeous the way they were.
We spent hours talking, and then spent some in the bedroom, just kissing and exploring each others bodies. They were shaking from nervousness, and anticipation. I brushed the hair off their face and caressed it, i said don't be scared, i will never hurt you.
I can't tell anyone who they are.
Because they are well known and It would ruin their reputation.
I can't tell anyone in my family either.
It has to remain a secret between the two of us.
I've never felt like this with anyone before.
I think i love her already.....
Now do you understand Why it's so hard?
Wednesday, 28 March 2007
Thursday, 22 March 2007
It's moments like these i need a shotgun!
Ok i seriously had a bad day today!
The muff ups keep coming!
This afternoon (prior to buying speaker (refer to last post)) i went to the place where i bought my cd player and had it installed, and had them have a look at it because it was playing up.
After having a lengthy discussion with the UBER DREAMY sales man Lucas (yes i managed to divert my attention from his dreamy eyes and smile to look at his name tag!) about my cd player, i asked him if he had any speakers for the rear of my car for $60.
When we found a suitable pair, i handed him the notes and went to leave with the speakers. He looked at me funny for a second and handed me the money back and said i should hold onto it while he took the speakers out to the car to double check they would fit properly.
I thought nothing of it at the time, and held onto the notes in my hand. We chatted for a bit and i thought (or dared to dream) that he was flirting with me!!! The speakers fit anyway, and i handed him the money. He said that he would duck inside to write me out a receipt, and i followed him so he wouldn't have to walk back out (as he had a customer waiting)
It was on the way back inside the shop where i spied the shamefull item that made the guy look at me funny! There, lying plain as fucking day on the shop floor............................................................................................................................................................... Are you ready for it? Was a bloody empty condom wrapper!!!
Oh the shame!!!! I must have handed him the Bloody thing with the notes, and when he handed them back to me, it must have slipped through the notes and onto the floor!!! Oh my gawd! Bury me now!
Note to self: Never EVER put a used condom wrapper in your purse!!!
Why was a used condom wrapper in my purse? Cause i had sex two weeks ago and being the nice gal i am, cleaned up after myself and placed the wrapper in my handbag. Naturally i forgot it was in there lurking at the bottom of my bag, until today, when earlier my mother was going through my bag, so i discreetly shoved the bloody thing in between my notes so she wouldn't spot it!
Needless to say i grabbed the receipt and fled the shop.
And yes on the way out i avoided the condom wrapper and left it there... staring brazenly out at every customer that would walk in!
The muff ups keep coming!
This afternoon (prior to buying speaker (refer to last post)) i went to the place where i bought my cd player and had it installed, and had them have a look at it because it was playing up.
After having a lengthy discussion with the UBER DREAMY sales man Lucas (yes i managed to divert my attention from his dreamy eyes and smile to look at his name tag!) about my cd player, i asked him if he had any speakers for the rear of my car for $60.
When we found a suitable pair, i handed him the notes and went to leave with the speakers. He looked at me funny for a second and handed me the money back and said i should hold onto it while he took the speakers out to the car to double check they would fit properly.
I thought nothing of it at the time, and held onto the notes in my hand. We chatted for a bit and i thought (or dared to dream) that he was flirting with me!!! The speakers fit anyway, and i handed him the money. He said that he would duck inside to write me out a receipt, and i followed him so he wouldn't have to walk back out (as he had a customer waiting)
It was on the way back inside the shop where i spied the shamefull item that made the guy look at me funny! There, lying plain as fucking day on the shop floor............................................................................................................................................................... Are you ready for it? Was a bloody empty condom wrapper!!!
Oh the shame!!!! I must have handed him the Bloody thing with the notes, and when he handed them back to me, it must have slipped through the notes and onto the floor!!! Oh my gawd! Bury me now!
Note to self: Never EVER put a used condom wrapper in your purse!!!
Why was a used condom wrapper in my purse? Cause i had sex two weeks ago and being the nice gal i am, cleaned up after myself and placed the wrapper in my handbag. Naturally i forgot it was in there lurking at the bottom of my bag, until today, when earlier my mother was going through my bag, so i discreetly shoved the bloody thing in between my notes so she wouldn't spot it!
Needless to say i grabbed the receipt and fled the shop.
And yes on the way out i avoided the condom wrapper and left it there... staring brazenly out at every customer that would walk in!
Call me Mrs Fix it!
I think i may have made a dick of myself tonight!
I bought some new rear speakers for my car because the last ones were EXTREMELY burnt out and crackly. Anywho, I'm the kinda person who when she wants something done, it has to be NOW! I'm impatient, and no i wont wait!!!
I have watched my ex boyfriend tinker with installing CD players and such, and thought, well bugger it, i will put em in myself! So i drove down to Coles and parked at the top of the carpark under the spotlights and set to work! (I didn't have any lights outside at home and it was dark)
As i was nearing completion of my task, a couple of hoons pulled up in there pimped up rides and blasted their music up loud and started yabbering off at one another, i was going to pack up my things and go, but i thought fark it! I didn't care if they thought i was a bit of a nuffy cause i really wanted to get the job done.
So here i am half sitting/lying down in the boot of my Hyudai hatchback with one leg hanging out fiddling around, and they looked over. (I'm sure they thought i was cutting up a body or something) I guess curiosity got the better of them and they wandered over.
One of the guys asked me if i was ok and needed a hand with something, to which i looked up (Stanley knife in hand mind you!) and said in a rather masculine tone "Na mate, she's right. I'm just installin some new Tweeters"
Ummmm ooooooo -keeeeeey then!
And i ask myself why i can't get a man!??!
Maybe it has something to do with the fact that I'm fiercely independent and men don't like that?... or maybe it has something to do with the fact that i come across as a butch dyke feminist!
MEEEH!
I bought some new rear speakers for my car because the last ones were EXTREMELY burnt out and crackly. Anywho, I'm the kinda person who when she wants something done, it has to be NOW! I'm impatient, and no i wont wait!!!
I have watched my ex boyfriend tinker with installing CD players and such, and thought, well bugger it, i will put em in myself! So i drove down to Coles and parked at the top of the carpark under the spotlights and set to work! (I didn't have any lights outside at home and it was dark)
As i was nearing completion of my task, a couple of hoons pulled up in there pimped up rides and blasted their music up loud and started yabbering off at one another, i was going to pack up my things and go, but i thought fark it! I didn't care if they thought i was a bit of a nuffy cause i really wanted to get the job done.
So here i am half sitting/lying down in the boot of my Hyudai hatchback with one leg hanging out fiddling around, and they looked over. (I'm sure they thought i was cutting up a body or something) I guess curiosity got the better of them and they wandered over.
One of the guys asked me if i was ok and needed a hand with something, to which i looked up (Stanley knife in hand mind you!) and said in a rather masculine tone "Na mate, she's right. I'm just installin some new Tweeters"
Ummmm ooooooo -keeeeeey then!
And i ask myself why i can't get a man!??!
Maybe it has something to do with the fact that I'm fiercely independent and men don't like that?... or maybe it has something to do with the fact that i come across as a butch dyke feminist!
MEEEH!
Monday, 19 March 2007
the history of my fat
I remember it was around 7 years ago i weighed around 100kg.
For some of you that may be overweight, but for me it was a good healthy size, cause i have a large bone structure i will never be a small girl.
I remember 100kg saw me at a size 14-16.
The smallest dress size i have ever been as a teenage girl and young adult woman.
I cant exactly remember when it was that i started putting weight on, But i remember it was around the same time i lost my jobs, (i had 4 and lost 2 to financial ruin of business and left the other 2 to work longer hours at the ones that fell through!)
I remember my boyfriend was away a lot, he was an apiarist (bee keeper) so i only saw him for three days, then he would be off again for weeks on end. I know i started having sleeping problems and eating heaps to cure the boredom of having no job and no friends. (They had all gone to different towns)
I became depressed, and suicidal, was hospitalised a few times for a few sad and sorry attempts to end my life. And when it all came crashing down around me i ended up living back at my mothers place where she looked after me till i was diagnosed with depression and put on medication.
Feeling a little better i then moved to Bendigo with my boyfriend and kept on eating to cure my boredom. Then i caught my man in bed with a 15 year old girl. After a long messy two months of arguments and tears, he left me and i was a mess again, i remember the weeks were a blur of tears and sleep. (when i get depressed i sleep all the time, get up for a few hours to pee or drink and go back to bed) My Mother said to me so many times that 'beds are where people die, not live.'
After a few months at a size 30 and 144kgs i decided that in order to attract a new man i needed to loose weight, and i started on a Ultralight diet. Where i lost 15kgs in three weeks. I indeed did meet a man and saw him for about a year, but i slowly put the weight back on. and more! So obviously he left me.
Me at 21 and 140+ kg
For some of you that may be overweight, but for me it was a good healthy size, cause i have a large bone structure i will never be a small girl.
I remember 100kg saw me at a size 14-16.
The smallest dress size i have ever been as a teenage girl and young adult woman.
I cant exactly remember when it was that i started putting weight on, But i remember it was around the same time i lost my jobs, (i had 4 and lost 2 to financial ruin of business and left the other 2 to work longer hours at the ones that fell through!)
I remember my boyfriend was away a lot, he was an apiarist (bee keeper) so i only saw him for three days, then he would be off again for weeks on end. I know i started having sleeping problems and eating heaps to cure the boredom of having no job and no friends. (They had all gone to different towns)
I became depressed, and suicidal, was hospitalised a few times for a few sad and sorry attempts to end my life. And when it all came crashing down around me i ended up living back at my mothers place where she looked after me till i was diagnosed with depression and put on medication.
Feeling a little better i then moved to Bendigo with my boyfriend and kept on eating to cure my boredom. Then i caught my man in bed with a 15 year old girl. After a long messy two months of arguments and tears, he left me and i was a mess again, i remember the weeks were a blur of tears and sleep. (when i get depressed i sleep all the time, get up for a few hours to pee or drink and go back to bed) My Mother said to me so many times that 'beds are where people die, not live.'
After a few months at a size 30 and 144kgs i decided that in order to attract a new man i needed to loose weight, and i started on a Ultralight diet. Where i lost 15kgs in three weeks. I indeed did meet a man and saw him for about a year, but i slowly put the weight back on. and more! So obviously he left me.
I got depressed again and ballooned up to a whooping 154kgs.
I remember i would sit down watching the biggest looser and eat a whole heap of hot fish and chips and drink coke and eat lollies and chocolate. Madness!
I do remember the day i decided that enough was enough...
I was sitting in the bath tub and i went to get out, and i was stuck. I couldn't even reach my ass properly to wipe it... and masturbation... lets not go there.
So i started my little journey to finding me. And along the way i finally come out of my little cloud of depression. Sure I've had a few bumps and dramas along the way.... (thanks to the wonderful species called MEN!) But I'm determined to not let them influence my feelings or my determination anymore.
Whats the difference between this time and all the other failed attempts?This time I'm doing it for me.
*I weighed myself today, and i am .5kg away from the smallest weight i have ever been in the last 6years!*
Me at 21 and 140+ kg
Sunday, 18 March 2007
Ahhhhhhhhh fuck it!
That's it.....
I have decided that men are the root of all evil.
they should be castrated at birth and force fed estrogen tablets for the rest of their lives!
Maybe then they would grow some form of heart and have some sort of moral standards and ethics!
Fuck em all!!!
Lesbianism here i come.
I have decided that men are the root of all evil.
they should be castrated at birth and force fed estrogen tablets for the rest of their lives!
Maybe then they would grow some form of heart and have some sort of moral standards and ethics!
Fuck em all!!!
Lesbianism here i come.
Friday, 16 March 2007
Little girl lost
I feel lost.
I don't know whats going on with me right now, but i know something is up, i can feel it.
I'm sleeping more, not eating, moping around the house, and just generally feeling a little disinterested in life. Sounds like depression? Yeah i know. Been there, have that. I thought i was starting to feel ok, thought i was starting to be normal again, feeling like the old me before depression kicked in.
I'm trying to figure out what it is that has triggered this shit to all come back on me, but i cant seem to pin it down. I know I'm feeling a little on the lonely side of things. But that's not bothered me much before.
I'm loosing weight still, so it can't be that.
Money is not an issue with me much in terms of my happiness.
I'm stumped!
I feel like a little part of me is dying inside, i can feel it slipping away.
And I'm trying desperately to reach out and grab onto it before it disappears into a black void.
I don't know whats going on with me right now, but i know something is up, i can feel it.
I'm sleeping more, not eating, moping around the house, and just generally feeling a little disinterested in life. Sounds like depression? Yeah i know. Been there, have that. I thought i was starting to feel ok, thought i was starting to be normal again, feeling like the old me before depression kicked in.
I'm trying to figure out what it is that has triggered this shit to all come back on me, but i cant seem to pin it down. I know I'm feeling a little on the lonely side of things. But that's not bothered me much before.
I'm loosing weight still, so it can't be that.
Money is not an issue with me much in terms of my happiness.
I'm stumped!
I feel like a little part of me is dying inside, i can feel it slipping away.
And I'm trying desperately to reach out and grab onto it before it disappears into a black void.
Thursday, 15 March 2007
Nail me to the floor...
Damn my infected nail to hell!!!!!!!!!
For those who don't remember....i cut a chunk outta my nail while shaving my legs (yeah i know how did i manage to do that? who knows! its me were talking about!)
Anywho i had my friend Bec Bec do Acrylic nails for me! I felt like a porn star! Much better than the botch job i attempted myself! They were gorg-eous! Except for my infected nail, which started to hurt, so i took it off.
I didn't want to take the others off because they looked soooo pwetty, so i devised a plan where i would walk around with one finger hidden all the time! Hmmm didn't quite work. and I'm a perfectionist, if one aint done, then all of them look wrong... (its an OCD thang)
So now I'm back to my old crappy nails again...
No money
No work
No porn star nails
And I'm having a bad hair week!!!
Even my skin isn't co-operating!
God damn it where is my inner goddess hiding?
She is probably at MacDonalds ordering a big FAT burger that's where!
For those who don't remember....i cut a chunk outta my nail while shaving my legs (yeah i know how did i manage to do that? who knows! its me were talking about!)
Anywho i had my friend Bec Bec do Acrylic nails for me! I felt like a porn star! Much better than the botch job i attempted myself! They were gorg-eous! Except for my infected nail, which started to hurt, so i took it off.
I didn't want to take the others off because they looked soooo pwetty, so i devised a plan where i would walk around with one finger hidden all the time! Hmmm didn't quite work. and I'm a perfectionist, if one aint done, then all of them look wrong... (its an OCD thang)
So now I'm back to my old crappy nails again...
No money
No work
No porn star nails
And I'm having a bad hair week!!!
Even my skin isn't co-operating!
God damn it where is my inner goddess hiding?
She is probably at MacDonalds ordering a big FAT burger that's where!
Tuesday, 13 March 2007
Either one way or the other
You know what shits me?
When one week your really busy with work run off your feet, and you have all this money that you go out and spend it all on shit that you only THINK you need....
Then the next week you fall flat on your ass cause you spent all your money and there is no work to be done!
Waaaaaaaaah!!!!!
I haven't had any work for nearly a week now.
And i missed a few opportunities on the weekend because i was too busy shagging Robbie Williams. (Refer to early post)
I'm praying for a miracle, because i have decided i want to purchase some contacts instead of wearing glasses. That way i can go out clubbing and be able to agree with a friend when she says 'look at that hot guy' instead of seeing just a blur of a person because i refuse to wear my dorky glasses out.
Bring on the money god!!!
When one week your really busy with work run off your feet, and you have all this money that you go out and spend it all on shit that you only THINK you need....
Then the next week you fall flat on your ass cause you spent all your money and there is no work to be done!
Waaaaaaaaah!!!!!
I haven't had any work for nearly a week now.
And i missed a few opportunities on the weekend because i was too busy shagging Robbie Williams. (Refer to early post)
I'm praying for a miracle, because i have decided i want to purchase some contacts instead of wearing glasses. That way i can go out clubbing and be able to agree with a friend when she says 'look at that hot guy' instead of seeing just a blur of a person because i refuse to wear my dorky glasses out.
Bring on the money god!!!
Sunday, 11 March 2007
I fucked Robbie Williams!!!
Well... almost.. lol.
I went out with a few girlfriends on Friday night and bumped into a guy i had meet the Friday before. He is English and bloody smooth as! I mean this guy ooozed sex appeal from every orifice! mmm.
He looks like Liam Gallagher. Funny and charming... only problem was he knew it!
It was obvious he loved himself as he grooved away on the dance floor and rub himself erotically, but all in all he was a good guy. And he had me on the edge of my seat the whole night! He was feeling me up under the table (i dont wear knickers) and i was feeling him up under the table, we were both getting very horny. I think he may have gone into the toilet at one stage for a bit of palm play cause he was in there a while!
Now all you prudes out there forgive me... I'm about to go all Samantha Jones on you here... (its a Sex in the City thang!)
I haven't been fucked with such passion and force for ages! It was soo hot. He knew exactly how i wanted it and how i wanted to be treated (a little rough....OK well a lot rough!) No intimacy, just pure hardcore fucking.... hmmmmmm.
He fell asleep at 8am and i snuck off out the front door! lol
Quite the charmer, but definitely not worthy of a phone number.... not yet anyway ;-)
He is going back to England on Monday, but he comes back twice a year. We swapped msn addy's, so im looking forward to chatting to him online.
This dress is my dream dress!!!
Im going to be wearing it for Christmas!
Thursday, 8 March 2007
o0o0o bubbles!!!
Im in love with my dentist!
I went and had two teeth filled today and had two needles...
mmmm twice the pleasure!
I can feel now where they stuck the needles in.
call me weirdo, but i love it!
weekend is nigh! dooo dooodle looo do do!
I went and had two teeth filled today and had two needles...
mmmm twice the pleasure!
I can feel now where they stuck the needles in.
call me weirdo, but i love it!
weekend is nigh! dooo dooodle looo do do!
Monday, 5 March 2007
A modern day slut
In looking back upon a few posts of mine, it might appear to some that i am either a slut, or that i play between a group of guys.
Not that i really give a toss what others think about me, but I'm going to explain a few things so you can get a better idea of who i am and what I'm about.
I'm a modern day woman, i have needs, sexual needs. I don't like to go out and pick up a one nighter every time i get horny, because not only can it be dangerous, but you don't know what your gunna catch. So i have a few male friends that i am good mates with, and when we are horny we fuck....
excuse me? you see a problem with that? Well let me tell you why i don't... We are already good mates, we know what each other is like, and of course we must be attracted to each others qualities somehow because that's why we are friends to begin with. I know i am safe with a mate, and i know what to expect.
No i don't fuck all my male friends. Infact I'm only seeing one at the moment. I choose carefully, because i know sometimes you can screw a good friendship up by sleeping with them. So i make sure that we both understand what is going on and where we are headed. Plus its always good to have a chat every now and then just to re-affirm that things are still the same.
Fucking a friend is like a temporary relationship, it has all the same qualities, love, friendship, sex, intimacy... the only exception being that there is an understanding that that is all it is for now. (unless one develops feelings for the other, that's why i like to re-affirm situation with mate every so often) The other exception is, they can fuck whoever else they want and not feel guilty... however wearing a condom is a must! Its a mutual agreement.
So while i am wading through lifes waters, its nice to have someone to call on to give me that temp relationship feeling, even if it is for a couple of hours only. And until someone comes along that captures my attention solely, i guess I'm just gunna stay a modern day slut.
Not that i really give a toss what others think about me, but I'm going to explain a few things so you can get a better idea of who i am and what I'm about.
I'm a modern day woman, i have needs, sexual needs. I don't like to go out and pick up a one nighter every time i get horny, because not only can it be dangerous, but you don't know what your gunna catch. So i have a few male friends that i am good mates with, and when we are horny we fuck....
excuse me? you see a problem with that? Well let me tell you why i don't... We are already good mates, we know what each other is like, and of course we must be attracted to each others qualities somehow because that's why we are friends to begin with. I know i am safe with a mate, and i know what to expect.
No i don't fuck all my male friends. Infact I'm only seeing one at the moment. I choose carefully, because i know sometimes you can screw a good friendship up by sleeping with them. So i make sure that we both understand what is going on and where we are headed. Plus its always good to have a chat every now and then just to re-affirm that things are still the same.
Fucking a friend is like a temporary relationship, it has all the same qualities, love, friendship, sex, intimacy... the only exception being that there is an understanding that that is all it is for now. (unless one develops feelings for the other, that's why i like to re-affirm situation with mate every so often) The other exception is, they can fuck whoever else they want and not feel guilty... however wearing a condom is a must! Its a mutual agreement.
So while i am wading through lifes waters, its nice to have someone to call on to give me that temp relationship feeling, even if it is for a couple of hours only. And until someone comes along that captures my attention solely, i guess I'm just gunna stay a modern day slut.
That is soooo not kewl!
Omg don't you hate it when you have been out the night before dancing and getting all sweaty, and you sleep through half of Saturday, wake up and lounge around watching tv and looking like a train wreck, when all of a sudden you get a knock at the door at 11:30 pm....
Now I'm thinking either its one of my girlfriends, or one of my gay friends, so i answer the door (in a little skimpy satin slip and looking like last nights leftovers, smeared makeup and all, with fuzzy hair to boot!) And who should be standing there? A man! But not just any man... the man i have lustful thoughts over every minute of my waking life! lol.
I blink twice before it registers that he is actually standing on my doorstep and I'm just gaping at him open mouthed. (musta looked a site i tell ya!) So i let him in and apologise for my appearance.
why is it that when you look stunningly gorgeous you don't bump into anyone you know, yet when you look like shit, everyone decides to drop in! Arghhhhhhhh! so while i put on a porn in the lounge (classy i know!), i politely excuse myself to the shower, where i wash myself and make myself look half decent.
I know this guy, we are good mates, we have a good relationship and a very good "you scratch my itch i'll scratch yours" set up. Did i mention he was utterly gorgeous? He said i look the same without makeup... so i consider either he needs glasses, he is being polite, or he just doesn't care.
I had a bottle of good ol passion pop, hehe, and i got rather drunk REALLY fast. is it just me or does wine make you really horny? It makes my (for lack of subtability) pussy swell and pulse with wanting. It makes all the special bits even more sensitive and makes everything ten times more porn like! lol (Amber : Instant porn star, just add wine!)
I had the best sex on the couch... my flatmates precious antique couch... haha. Didn't last long, but fuck it was good, this guy gets better every time i see him!
Sigh* cheers big ears, cause I'm off to masturbate at the thought~
Now I'm thinking either its one of my girlfriends, or one of my gay friends, so i answer the door (in a little skimpy satin slip and looking like last nights leftovers, smeared makeup and all, with fuzzy hair to boot!) And who should be standing there? A man! But not just any man... the man i have lustful thoughts over every minute of my waking life! lol.
I blink twice before it registers that he is actually standing on my doorstep and I'm just gaping at him open mouthed. (musta looked a site i tell ya!) So i let him in and apologise for my appearance.
why is it that when you look stunningly gorgeous you don't bump into anyone you know, yet when you look like shit, everyone decides to drop in! Arghhhhhhhh! so while i put on a porn in the lounge (classy i know!), i politely excuse myself to the shower, where i wash myself and make myself look half decent.
I know this guy, we are good mates, we have a good relationship and a very good "you scratch my itch i'll scratch yours" set up. Did i mention he was utterly gorgeous? He said i look the same without makeup... so i consider either he needs glasses, he is being polite, or he just doesn't care.
I had a bottle of good ol passion pop, hehe, and i got rather drunk REALLY fast. is it just me or does wine make you really horny? It makes my (for lack of subtability) pussy swell and pulse with wanting. It makes all the special bits even more sensitive and makes everything ten times more porn like! lol (Amber : Instant porn star, just add wine!)
I had the best sex on the couch... my flatmates precious antique couch... haha. Didn't last long, but fuck it was good, this guy gets better every time i see him!
Sigh* cheers big ears, cause I'm off to masturbate at the thought~
Friday, 2 March 2007
All work and no play?
Phew!!!!
Amby has been working REAL hard and lots lately!
I cant believe how much work i am getting...
I'm loving the money i am making though!
I split it down the middle, half goes to paying of car repairs, and the other half is spent buying things off THE LIST...
Whats "the list" you ask?
Well "the list" is something i wrote out in August of last year.
Its a list of everything i have ever wanted and everything i have ever needed in my life so far. (ie:/ practical: Car care kit, mini Vacuum cleaner. Non practical: Makeup, jewelry, shoes)
I have them listed in order of what i want most, down to what i want least. And i been slowly working my way down the list. I think i have about 5 things left to buy! (however i find that there are whimsical things that i add every now and then)
I have been a povo for the last 9 years, living on only $220 a week via centrelink benefits, now think about rent, and bills and food... how much money does that leave me to spend on myself???
I remember when i was younger i had four jobs at once! And if i went out with friends i would pay for our meal, or the movies, or i would buy them things... But as i gained weight i got depressed, and therefore lost my jobs, and was forced to go on centrelink benefits, which made me even more depressed... its a vicious cycle, and no one understands what its like unless they have gone through it themselves.
Finally now i am financially free!
I paid off my bank loan, i own my own car outright, and i don't have anymore outstanding debts. I went out with some old school friends last weekend and i bought us all drinks, and payed for our meals and taxis... i spent about $170, i know its madness, and i should have spent it on something useful, but i cant tell you how good it made me feel to be able to do that again.
I love being able to pay for my sister to have lunch with me, to pay for a friend to go to the pool, or have a bar meal with me. I'm a giving person, and i don't for one second think that they owe me favours because of it. I did it because i wanted to. And their time and happiness is more than enough payment in return for buying them something.
Amby has been working REAL hard and lots lately!
I cant believe how much work i am getting...
I'm loving the money i am making though!
I split it down the middle, half goes to paying of car repairs, and the other half is spent buying things off THE LIST...
Whats "the list" you ask?
Well "the list" is something i wrote out in August of last year.
Its a list of everything i have ever wanted and everything i have ever needed in my life so far. (ie:/ practical: Car care kit, mini Vacuum cleaner. Non practical: Makeup, jewelry, shoes)
I have them listed in order of what i want most, down to what i want least. And i been slowly working my way down the list. I think i have about 5 things left to buy! (however i find that there are whimsical things that i add every now and then)
I have been a povo for the last 9 years, living on only $220 a week via centrelink benefits, now think about rent, and bills and food... how much money does that leave me to spend on myself???
I remember when i was younger i had four jobs at once! And if i went out with friends i would pay for our meal, or the movies, or i would buy them things... But as i gained weight i got depressed, and therefore lost my jobs, and was forced to go on centrelink benefits, which made me even more depressed... its a vicious cycle, and no one understands what its like unless they have gone through it themselves.
Finally now i am financially free!
I paid off my bank loan, i own my own car outright, and i don't have anymore outstanding debts. I went out with some old school friends last weekend and i bought us all drinks, and payed for our meals and taxis... i spent about $170, i know its madness, and i should have spent it on something useful, but i cant tell you how good it made me feel to be able to do that again.
I love being able to pay for my sister to have lunch with me, to pay for a friend to go to the pool, or have a bar meal with me. I'm a giving person, and i don't for one second think that they owe me favours because of it. I did it because i wanted to. And their time and happiness is more than enough payment in return for buying them something.
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