FUCKING SHITTY!!!

Fuck im pissed!!!
i don't give a shit if this post is unladylike cause i keep swearing...
I got lazy for four days and green algea infested my pool!!!!
I paid all this money on chemicals to clean the bloody thing, and now it turns out i dont have the right equipment to suck it all out!!!

FARK, SHIT, POO, BUM, SEX!!!!!!

I dont have any money left because i paid most of my bills, so not only am i broke over new years, but i have treated a pool that i cant clean!!
Mum is gunna lend me some money to buy a cleaner, But even then i have to wait till friggin Tuesday to buy it. I want it clean NOW!~!!

Hopefully i dont have to buy any more chemicals for the bloody thing!

Money burns a hole in your pocket...

I remember my dad used to sing that song to us when we were little kids, we used to sing along too thinking it was a catchy little tune "moneeeeeey..... burns a hole in your pooooocket!"

It's only now that I'm discovering how woeful a song it really is!

I'm so broke. I can't afford anything.

Yes i do live too high above my means... buying crap i don't need, ie: more makeup!! (it's my secret addiction) But woman can not live on paying bills alone!!

I want a little extra money a week, just so i can buy a nice top if i see one, or rent a couple of DVDs, or buy some nice jewelry or perfume!!

ANYTHING!!! I hate being povo... bills just seem to keep popping up out of nowhere. Phone $168. Mobile $30. Gas $80. Electricity $190.

Water $70. Petrol $30. Gym $22. Rent $175. Car repayments $137. And paying off old debts $20..... how the FARK is a young woman supposed to survive??!! i haven't even added food onto the bills!

That's it.... I'm selling my body parts to science....

Anyone interested in a half rotten liver???

heres my cake that i cant eat!

MY Mates....

I dunno what to do for new years!!!!!!!!

I'm torn between spending it at my new mates place who has been there for me a lot lately...

Or spend it with an old mate that Ive known since high school...

Arghhhhhhhhh!!!

Here's me and one of my beautiful boy's (no not my actual son!)

And the cookie says....

I'm a sucker for getting my fortune told and astrology and tarot and all that other stuff that other people think is silly and a waste of money...
Today i cracked a fortune cookie and here's what it said...

Your LOVE Fortune: One cannot refuse to eat just because there is a chance of being choked. --- Love is a great risk, but not loving is of greater risk - even though you may have been hurt badly before - a great love will come to you soon and you must be ready to accept it.

OK then.... erm how did they know that I'm a scaredy puss?

here's a site for your own cookie...

http://www.links2love.com/horoscope/fortune_cookies.htm

And here is my past life
Your Birthdate -- Its Meaning for Past Life and Present:
This life's birthdate reveals that you were female in your last earthly incarnation.You were born somewhere near the territory of modern Yukon in approximately 1675. Your profession was leader, major, captain.

Your brief psychological profile from your past life:Timid, constrained, quiet person. You had creative talents, but were waiting until the next life to be liberated. Sometimes those surrounding you considered you odd, but you knew you would be cherished in your next life.

The lesson, that your last past life brings to the present and how you will use it:It always seemed to you that your perceptions of the world were somewhat different. Your lesson -- to look deep within and trust your intuition as your best guide in the present life.
Use your lessons well ... and you will be greeted with uncommon success in an uncommon hour...

Spread my legs cause im stuffed like a turkey!

I always eat too much on Xmas!!

Bloody hell i was sick on Sunday and Monday...

I'm just not used to eating all this crap anymore, and my stomach is screaming out for me to stop!

Back to the salad and veggies for me!

Xmas eve at 11pm i spent driving around bendigo looking at all the lights and decorations. While i tried to fight the weird feeling you get when your alone, and a lump rises in your throat, and you feel like crying because every window you drive past you see happy little families and couples sitting together looking all cosy.

I must admit, a tear did well up behind my eyes, but i managed to compose myself, rang my mum up to tell her i love her, and then drove home to spend Xmas day alone. Tomorrow will be much the same. Alone again. Ah well, at least i have a party to go to for new years, where I'm going to get so blind I'm not even gunna have a chance to feel sorry for myself when i have no one to kiss at midnight.

Do they rent partners for the night?

Don't get me wrong, i love my freedom and space, but sometimes it sucks being alone... sigh* think i might just go to lake weeroona and feed the duckies and walk off my turkey legs!

here's my mum in an elf hat at spotlight a few weeks ago...

Holly crap its nearly xmas!

I cant believe its nearly xmas...
Where the fark did the time go?

thanks.. now fuck off

Those who know me know I'm not a nasty person.

And i would never do anything to hurt anyone.

Butter wouldn't melt in my mouth.

But....

I just had to send this e-mail to an ex friend of mine...

I feel better now...

FUCK YOU ARE A CUNT... I cant believe i ever considered you a friend! When i look back at the time i wasted on you i bring myself to the point of vomiting. You were an asshole from day one. You always will be. Yes i was a dumb shit when i was with you, because i WAS with you.

Don't pity me Mark. I pity YOU. You lead a poor little lonely existence out there on that little patch of dust you live on.

I believe you never will find anyone to love, because your too self absorbed in your own little head space.

I need to get my head checked out, i must have been so desperate for friends to put up with the shit you gave me. What the fuck was i thinking?? SERIOUS??!! I'm disappointed in myself for letting you walk all over me and being so god damn disrespectful. Thank Christ i have grown up now.

I'm so over you and your fucked up little life. Fuck you for ever saying i wouldn't amount to anything or that I'm a mental case! I had issues, they're dealt with now. I'm a much stronger person than you will ever be! Ive lost weight, and still continuing to do so, my whole lifestyle has changed. so there goes your fucked up theory about me being a lazy bitch who will end up on Jerry springer. You can kiss my ass!

When i think of you i see this lonely old man sitting in his dusty old shitty property, wasting his time sitting in front of a PC playing on the stocks. with $2.

Karma is a Bitch isn't it Mark....

I believe you are just starting to get whats been coming to you.

Having told you just how fucked up you are and how much i pity and despise you has made me feel a whole lot better, now i can move on with my life knowing you know that i think you are the lowest piece of shit there is.

Don't worry little man, i wont be e-mailing you again. Your not worth the time and effort. Just HAD to tell you your fucked. Couldn't stand the thought of you thinking i actually give a shit. Wish you all the worst luck in the world you Miserable old Bastard.

New Years Resos?

Whats your new years resolution?

Me? I don't really believe in making them, because i never follow through with them... So instead I'm making some goals for the new year.



1.) Become more lady like and feminine. (Its not good when you get told by a guy that your a bit butch and it intimidates them!)



2.) Not to spread my legs so easily. (no more mindless sex, your gunna have to work for it now boys and gurlies!)



3.) Full time work. (that i actually enjoy)



4.) Loose 14kilos before my birthday. (Feb 10th... 2kg down.. 12kg to go!)



5.) I want to go back to Mt bulla for a short holiday And learn how to ski. (I hear its good for the sex muscles)



6.) I want to have sex in the rain!!!!! (I been trying to do this for the last 6 years! Either been single at the time, or the mans a pussy)





SEE!!! DOESNT THAT LOOK HOT!???

Friends?

All my life i have always been the type of person who makes friends with almost anyone. No matter who they are, what they look like, or what social standing they have. (except for people who were selfish or stuck up)

I can walk up to anyone and start a conversation. I have always had heaps of people i knew, and could call 'friends'. Its great because whenever i go out i usually bump into at least three people i know. So i am never short of friends. However I can count on one hand how many REAL friends i have. The kind that you can talk to about anything, and just relax and be yourself around. No false image or fake laughter here.

The only problem with me being so god damn sociable and friendly, is that sometimes different friends clash, or don't like each other. That's their problem, not mine. Isn't it? seems not.

One of my good Girlfriends Clair doesn't like one of my other good friends Justin, and without going into detail, they had a 'he said she said' argument, and i refused to take sides or get involved. I cant say who is right. Who am i to judge? I wasn't there so i cant tell who is telling the truth or not. More to the point, is it my business? Am i supposed to take a side and choose?

Claire told me that because i didn't believe her (pick a side) that we shouldn't be friends anymore. Which is ok i guess, we have kind of been growing apart for a while now. But i still feel a little empty inside. We were really good friends, and have been through a lot together. But she just doesn't seem to be there for me when i need her anymore.

I wish her all the best. I still love her. But i guess it's time to move on. Sure i will miss her heaps and think about her from time to time, it will hurt, But i think it's the best for both of us.

Best wishes for the future my claire.

Maybe we will bump into each other again one day when both our hearts have healed and changed for the better.

Love
your Amby

xoxox

I am not green and furry

Yes i am a grinch.

I bloody hate Christmas.

I hate it because everyone pretends that they love each other and act all two faced because "its Christmas".

There's nothing i hate more in this world than two faced people.

If you got something to say to someone, then say it!

It doesn't have to be harsh or nasty, have some decorum when you tell them, but isn't it better to let them know how you feel?

I think so.

Even if the reaction from them isn't the one you were hoping for, at least you did the right thing and told the truth. Rather than run around telling everyone else BUT the person your talking about.

I'm rambling, that has nothing to do with loathing Christmas really does it?

I'm trying to figure out why my little grinchy heart is two sizes too small. How did i come to hate Xmas? Perhaps I'm getting old and it's just another day, just like any other. Or perhaps there is some deep seated trauma i went through every year at Xmas, that has conditioned me to hate it.

Bah Humbug!

I'm getting all excited about a big project that's coming up!!

I been researching heaps and practicing angles, lighting and stuff.

I'm soooo gunna win!!!

Fingers crossed for this lil grinchy.

Tell me why?

Tell me why i do loooove Mondaaaaaaaays!!!!

lol

I'm feeling bright eyed and bushy tailed today!

Might have something to do with the fact that I've lost 4 kilos this week!

Which brings me to a grand total loss of 19 kilos since August.

Hooraaah!!

I can find bones in my body that i never knew were there before!

My favourite bone to play with at the moment is my hip bone!

When I'm lying down relaxing, i cant help but run my hands over it!

I have a nice tan... (which cost me $40)

I have beautiful clear skin.

I have all the latest cd's i wanted.

I've seen all the dvds i wanted.

life is lalala land for me at the moment.

And i might be a grandma on my birthday!!!

(no i dont have a secret love child, boggles the cat is my baby)

Hooray for daylight savings, warm weather, trips to the local swimming hole and not having sex for a month!!!

Sundayitis...

I had a big nite out last nite....
Its been ages since i was dragged out clubbing.
I swear i danced my little...(well big) ass off, im paying for it today.
(still sore from car accident)

I had fun, but i also realised that i am getting older. :-(
Not only did i wanna go home at 3am, but i looked around and realised that the oldest girl there was me!

Thought about picking up a one nighter at the start of the night, but decided that i didn't want to go to court for having sex with a minor.
(I swear all the men... or rather boys, that were there must have been no older than 18!)

I did have a girl walk up to me, kiss me, wink and mouth call me, and then walk off... too bad she didn't give me her number!
I guess she must have seen me with the other lesbians and Bi women i was hanging out with. (God some of them were hot!)

I think i have gone of penis for the rest of my life!
Lesbian world here i cum!!!! hehe