Miss gutless...

If you have nothing beter to do than go through my posts and pick out my speeeeling mistakes than i suggest you take up a hobby?? May i suggest a course on manners and etiquette? As obviously you have none!

What you see and what you know is a one sided view. Im sorry if you feel this way, i have spoken to most of my friends about this and they have all said the same thing, i have NEVER just taken anything from anyone, nor have i ignored them for any unjust reason. Im first in line to do anything for a friend.

Perhaps if i have ignored your texts and not turned up to your invites it's because i don't want to see YOU! Think about that. I am not a false person, and i am not a rude nasty or fake person. Therefore if there is someone i dislike or don't get along with i will avoid them like the plague rather than be called a two faced bitch.

I am FAR from lonely and miserable, which is what you sound like you are if you feel the heroic need to 'rescue' me from my supposed misery. All my REAL friends know i am ok. And have been for the past two weeks. Im sorry if i have been too busy with life to write a post for you updating you on the last time i wiped my ass!!

I never denied anything being a certain way. Many people suffer from depression and life threatening illness. Excuse me for wanting time away from people to deal with it in my own way! I remember a certain friend of mine needing time out herself when her ex partner fell ill.

Gimme a break woman!

If you don't care about me knowing who you are, then how about you indulge the rest of the people who read my blog and tell them?? Don't think you will somehow as It's obvious your too scared cause you know what you wrote was utterly rude and uncalled for.

Im not a nasty or vindictive person, however i am pissed that you felt the need to post this shit on MY personal blog instead of 'being a friend' and coming straight over and telling me to my face. And i am EXTREMELY pissed at the fact that you said "Friendship is a two way street, you cant keep taking from people without giving, which is what you do and what you have done for a very long time".

WHAT AN UTTER LOAD OF BULLSHIT.
look im not going to waste anymore time on you or replying to your comments. If you feel the need to keep this up then how about you either ring me, or front up and we will talk about it over coffee. Its obvious that your hurting for some reason and i would like to know why.

p.s.... For your enjoyment and entertainment i have left several spelling mistakes. go ahead and go nuts kiddo.

Dear Miss Anomous...

Hmm, im not going to waste much of my time and energy on ranting about how much of a gutless bitch you are for not even having the balls to put a name with your little comment on my last blog entry.

My blog is for me, my family and my friends, and i don't really give a toss what you or anyone else thinks about it. Im not the sad person who sits on my ass reading other people's blogs and getting a kick outta judging them by a few personal posts.

If you are sick of reading the poor me post then the answer is simple... don't bother reading anymore, and as for loosing my friends and being all alone and friendless, not gunna happen sweety cause those who ARE my friends have the heart and compassion to wait and help me through my problems whatever or whenever they are.

Pretty spot on idea of who you are regardless, you still write the same way and with the same tone honey. So please GO FUCK YOURSELF....... sorry, but like you said, had to be said.

and now im back.... from outter space...(well soon)

leaving on a steam train............
Dunno when i will be back again...

actually i will be back on Sunday.
going away on holiday with two friends for a heart party, then i am coming back to haunt you all.

Opinionated, Cranky, Cynical and a down right pain in the ass.

Just a few of the things i have been called lately.
In some aspects i agree, in other's, well they can go get pucked.

Sitting here with a MASSIVE migrane so it's gunna be short n sweet.

My week has been very full on.
My sister got married.
My mother chucked a fruity at me (yes you did!)
and you know the rest....

Im taking a week off from everything, work, people, chores and such to reflect on a a few things.
Im a going on a short holiday away by myself. Dont ask me where im going cause im not telling.

Got lots of things i wanna say, loads of people im gunna call and catch up with, (If your reading this then you will be one of them!) and plenty of things im going to get off my ass and start doing when i get back.

So much news, good and bad... so many dramas and gossip and funny bits and pics i have to tell you about that has gone on in the last month. But you will have to wait till i get back from my soul search camping trip that im going on.

Amby's clawing her way back to the top of the world one handfull of glorious dirt at a time.
Let's just not get to carried away and run outta steam halfway and tumble back to the bottom.

I will be seeing you all VERY soon.

Don't cry for me Argentina...

Massive thoughts emotions and feelings going on in my head lately.
So I'm feeling the need to just spit it all out and save myself the mess of tears.
(I find that a good dose of writing it all down makes me feel better)

I'm angry, pissed, sad, and scared.
And so god damn tired.

So here it is, my news, my update, my life.
I feel like i been put on pause, and the whole world is moving around me still, and i can't seem to catch up on what i missed out on.
Everyone i know is shitty and angry at me for not ringing them or seeing them.
Everyone is pulling my arms and begging me to come out.
But I'm not the kinda person who likes to rain on someone Else's parade. In that if I'm miserable or hurting inside bad, i don't want to be the person in the corner who is a stick in the mud or a wallower, don't even think about calling me 'someone who is always looking down at her feet miserably'. Because I'm not.... honestly I'm not, though it may seem that way to you lately.
So here is my confession...

I have stage two cervical cancer. Along with cysts on my ovaries due to POCS. (polysytic ovarian syndrome) and i also have acute liver failure due to something that happened to me a few years ago.

I knew several days before Christmas about it all. But i kept it silently because i didn't want to ruin Anyone's Christmas. It's hard to go through a life threatening illness all alone. And there were so many times i nearly broke down and just gave up. But I'm still here now, right now and right this moment. And i can choose to run, or i can choose to fight.

It ain't gunna be pretty, and i know i have a very hard couple of months ahead of me, so if i seem a little distant and preoccupied, please understand that I'm fighting not only for myself, but for the day, the hour, the minute, and even the seconds that tic by when I'm with you, or when I'm thinking about you.

In the Musical Evita, Madonna sings "Don't cry for me Argentina, the truth is i never left you" And i guess I'm asking you to do the same.

I'm sorry mum. But please understand why i had to do this.
I love you.
And i don't want your tears or sorrow to cast a shadow on our life.
Just smile for me.
And hold my hand tight.
I'm very scared and in so much darkness.

I need you to help me be strong, so please don't handicap me by pitying me or by being depressed and sad over me. And when we are in doubt, and feel a lump of sadness well in our throats, we shall sing to one another with love and hope in our hearts...

Smile though your heart is aching
Smile even though its breaking
When there are clouds in the sky, youll get by
If you smile through your fear and sorrow
Smile and maybe tomorrow
Youll see the sun come shining through for you

Light up your face with gladness
Hide every trace of sadness
Although a tear may be ever so near
Thats the time you must keep on trying
Smile, whats the use of crying?
Youll find that life is still worthwhile
If you just smile