Are you Mc serious!!!???

I cannot believe i have come down with the farking flu again!!!
Same as last time, sore head, snotty nose, sweats, sore limbs, sore throat... blah blah blah..
I must be like the most immune deficient person i know!

Ok, in all seriousness i know why i am sick again, and why i will probably get sick a few more times... Yes my immune system is shot, yes my liver is crabby, and yes i am not eating vitamin filled vegetable or fruits.

Mum is forcing me to go to the doctors tomorrow to see what can be done. Me? I'm sick of them all saying they don't know what it is, and that i should loose more weight.... I'm trying!!!!

So you might not see me for a little while, cause i gotta go pick out a patch of grass to bury myself in.

We are famileeeeeee, i got all my nuffy's with me!

Some times i wonder how i came to be the way i am..
You know, a bit of a nuffy and all.
Well Yesterday i found out.

Me and my mummy were shopping in Lansel Plaza for the day (something we do every Friday) and we both decided it was tinkle time.
I raced ahead of her and made it to the toilets first, and as I'm sitting in my cubicle having a pee, i notice these familiar pair of shoes walk into the cubicle next to me...

hehe, i decided to give mum a fright and grabbed her ankle... (before you start giggling yes it was actually my mum and not a stranger wearing the same shoes) And she shrieked loudly... i thought it was because i had successfully frightened her, but then she started sobbing "some stupid bitch put the seat down and i peed all over myself!"

How could she not know the seat was down? Well, you see, mum doesn't like to sit on public toilets, she kinda pulls her daks down and hovers over the toilet. So i guess her pee kinda hit the lid and bounced straight back off and trickled all down her pants.

I was in fits of laughter, tears running down my face as i was washing my hands in the basin, and women were staring with disgusted and horrified faces at my mums cubicle as she howled "I peed all over myself"
(yes the toilets were packed with women)

When she emerged from her cubicle she had tears running down her face as she was laughing as much as i was. Walking like a saddle sore cowboy, she declared she had to go buy a new pair of pants as hers were soaked. I told her she could stand in the women's toilets with her pants off and dry them under the hand dryer!!!

So we walked (well i walked, she waddled making squishy sounds!) To Millers, where mum promptly picked a pair of pants and raced to the ladies change room. She gave me her card and the tag off the pants and asked if i could pay for them as she was too embarrassed to do it herself. (now i happen to know the salesgirl, so i told her what happened, and she offered my mum a plastic bag to stick her pissy pants in.)

So for mothers day I'm buying her incontinence nappies!!!

But the buck doesn't stop here ladies and gents... oh no no no, there is also the tale of my father, who on the way dropping me off home, decided to stop at a mailbox to put his parcel in. He became very frustrated when he couldn't find the slot for his parcel, and shot me and mum an angry look as we were pissing ourselves laughing at him.

You see, dad was trying to 'post' his parcel through one of those green electrical boxes on the side of the road! I would have forgiven him his stupidity if he had not then next pulled up to a bright red fire hydrant and tried the same thing!!!

D'oh, i hope stupidity is not hereditary?

PHEW....

I been awol recently..
it's been due to work, drag queening and sleep.

Im waiting to get pics of me and my boys (3 gay friends) all dragged up at a function last friday.
When i get them, you will be the first to see!!!

Love comes in a box....

mmmmmmmmmmm

I'm in love.

I have been since i saw them two weeks ago.

So i made a deal with myself, as soon as i got some spare cash, i was gunna go out and show these two sexy babes a night on the town!

aren't they stunnas!!!???

I see the light.... Now get that torch outta my face!

I think i am starting to regain life! yay!
A lot faster than i anticipated.
Thank god!

I was so sick that just walking to the fridge for some OJ (vitamin c folks!) made me struggle to breathe! Now i remember what it was like when i was 20kg heavier!

So what did i do all weekend?
Hmmmm sleep. Get up to pee. sleep. think about getting up to pee. sleep. getting up to pee... and more sleep.
If there is only one reason why i love the flu it's this.... I lost 4kg in three days!!! hooray!!!

Yeah ok i know it's probably to do with the fact that i haven't eaten for four days, or drank anything for that matter.... But i dun care... don't rain on my little parade ok! kewl.

I probably gain it all when i have my first meal for the week! ha!
Anywho... after feeling sick and fugly (translation for fugly = fucking ugly) for the last week, i decided to self tan myself, de fuzz, exfoliate my face and feet, and do my toe nails and finger nails in fakies with acrylic.
I'm quite pleased with my lil self! look....