Coming soon... to a puter near you!

Ok i haven't posted for over two weeks!!!
Holy Mc Grolly!
Seeing as i have the flu atm (yes AGAIN!!! my body hates me!), I'm going to just give you a sneek peak at whats going to be blogged about when i feel a little better...

THE CHOCOLATE MILL (a tale of sweet temptation)

IF THE SHOE FITS (a story about cheap pleasures in life)

THE ICY TOWN ESCAPE (a tale of chilling proportions!)

A DRESS TO KILL IN ( an epic journey through sales)

WHAT GOES ON INFRONT OF EYES ( a documentary on whats on)

THE SECRETS OUT ( a revelation of sorts)

WHATS THE SECRET???

Well thought it was about time i updated on how i was going with this secret thingy mah bobby i been trying out.

Firstly i empowered my thinking into the fact that i was going to make lots of money from work, and that i was going to bag a guy that i been having lustful thoughts over lately.
Outcome: made half of what i usually make at work, and haven't heard from my Mr mc Dreamy. hmmm.

Felt very disillusioned that my positive energy wasn't working and started to think this whole secret thing is hippy shit on crack! However, i made a lot of money over the last few days, and i seem to have snagged a nice young mans attention.

So i have decided to edumickate (my muffed up way of saying educate) myself, and am going into the video store tonight to hire "the secret" and see what it is all about. After all, one cant dance without first learning the steps!

Doo way eey too loo loo

Ok, i know I'm sad, and that its a little childish... but i bought a furby!!!
(Actually i bought two! ones a baby furby)
I have always wanted a furby as a kid but was too povo to actually buy one... but not today!!!

I spent all arvo talking to it in some kinda weird robotic language that resembles Amber after a few too many wines.
So far i have managed to get a joke out of it, a song, and a dance.
It seems to be more interested in the other furby than me... They sit there in the corner talking in their weird little language. Hmm do i smell an uprising? Attack of the Furbies!!!!

If you don't hear from me in the next few days... you know whats happened!

HORNY WARNY~~~

No im not writting about Shane Warne!

Im Back to tell you all about Ambers wonderfoool trip to the place where she lost her virginity at the age of 18!! (Warnambool.... sigh*)

Well my faggy friend Kyle kept me up all night the night before the trip. We shouldn't be left alone together after 10pm, cause garunteed we gunna end up laughing the night away untill the wee hours of the morning! Anywho we got to Warnambool and after one hours sleep Kyle was bouncing around the room begging to go to the beach... This is what i looked like compared to him when we arrived..

Hmmm, i hated him that day!

Anyway, after sleeping a little and eating a lot, we wandered down to the beach at 8pm at night, armed with a torch and a tyre iron for safety! It was friggin freezin!!! I swear my nipples snapped off and floated away with the tide! We went back the next day and took these lovely pics!

Kyle : "look a wave"Kyle: "Oh shit.... RUN!"

Anyway, we spent most of the time shopping and eating, and sleeping, and watching Austar, and eating, and sampling the nightlife, and eating and harrasing the sexy surfer boys... oh and did i mention eating??

The worst thing happened to me!!! Do you remember me writing a post a while ago saying that i was getting eyelash extensions>? Well i got them, and they looked great... for a day or two, then they all started to fall out. (They attatch false eyelash onto your original eyelash with this glue that hardens, and its supposed to fall out when your eyelash grows out naturally.)

So in the end i was left with these black little lumps of glue on the end of my eyelashes, so it looked like a mouse had run across my eyelashes and shat all over them! So i had to cut them!!! (Sniff sniff... i hated my eyelashes to begin with because they grew straight down over my eyes like a horse! But now i hate them even more!! they are like 1/2 mm long!)

Kyle being the wonderful faggy friend that he is helped me super glue false lashes on so that i wouldn't look gimpy for the rest of my holiday! Here is what he did!

Anyway, crisis averted, After four wonderful glorious days of kyle keeping me awake all night in fits of laughter (gay men are such larks!) We headed off home on Sunday morn... On the way we came across this funny st sign

And now for one last pic of me and my gorgeous fake eyelash's...(ps. note to others... superglueing on false eyelashes FARKING HURT!!!)

p.s... is anyone else sick of hearing about Paris Hilton??? I mean for Farks sake is the girl even talented or pretty? Ive seen more personality and intelligence in a steamy fresh dog turd!

LEAVINNNNNNNNNN ON A HYUNDAI

Me is going to Warnambool for work!!!!
I wont be back until Sunday.
So I'm taking my camera and my fag (gay friend) and hitting the road at 7am tomorrow!!

Sorry i haven't been in contact with anyone.. me has been busy.
But i will make it up to you all when i get back with wads of cash!!!