Let the flood come

There is a sentence in a song which pretty much sums up what I'm feeling at the moment.... "Let the rain come down, and wash me clean, let it wash away my insanity"

I haven't posted for a while. I guess i been kinda busy with work, life, and being sick AGAIN! But I also been really swept up in my own little emotional whirl wind.

Besides being tired from working my little ass off and being sick with some viral infection that made me feel like i was swallowing razorblades constantly, I been a little emotionally detached. Its kinda hard to explain. But i will give it a crack.

I 've been feeling Betrayed, jealous, angry, hurt, unloved, ugly, lonely, tired, weak, guilty, confused, disappointed, ashamed, wistful, and sad. And all these feelings have been pretty much crammed into the last week. I feel like a tumble dryer that's been overloaded with emotion and I'm going to over heat and explode.

No one really understands how you feel except for yourself. And i know I'm all alone in dealing with this task of sorting through all this emotional crap I'm dealing with at the moment. I just gotta take a day off and go somewhere and forget everything and deal with it one by one.

I feel like every little bit of these emotions are clinging to me like a piece of sticky mud, and its slowly devouring me into a dirty muddy puddle. I feel like i just wanna stand on the top of a mountain and scream at the dark clouds to open up a torrent of rain and feel each little drop wash away the 'muddy' feelings i have.

To be stripped back to nothing but bare clean skin and feel nothing but cool water coursing through my veins, pushing out all the toxins from my body.

I'm ready for the heavens to open up on me....
Let the rain come down.......